I remember as a child, I had always known I wouldn't be working a normal 9-5 job. I was rebellious and I never liked following orders,and I liked doing things my way. As a teen and into early adulthood I was always looking for “an easier, softer way”. My life took a complete u-turn into deep addiction leaving me homeless, without my family or real friends, doing actions I could only describe as heinous, no money, and no hope. If you had asked me what my life would look like in 5 years I couldn’t even tell you, because I thought I would be dead. My only hope and saving grace was getting pregnant with my daughter. That was 5 years ago and I have never looked back.
I built my life from the ground up again, doing normal adult things until slowly but surely I gained a life I never thought could exist for someone like me. I was a functioning member of society with two beautiful children, a loving fiance, a nice home, the best dog, and money in the bank. As beautiful as my life was, I still felt an unfulfillment. I have always been a creative person and art was always a safe spot for me to land, but I was never necessarily good at any of the normal art mediums. Whether it was a manic 3AM painting session in my Boston apartment, drawing with sticks in the dirt, filling a sketchbook with mediocre portraits, it was there through every milestone in my life.
God has always had a plan for me, and I can look back in hindsight and see that plan play out very clearly. As I prepared my own wedding flowers, I found myself genuinely enjoying it, and I was even maybe a little good at it. Maybe they weren't technically well made, but I was surprisingly proud of myself. So proud of myself in fact, that I decided to put myself out there and post a photo of them on facebook with the caption “Anyone need wedding flowers? Hmu”, or something to that effect. Being in sobriety has been life changing and amazing, but it has also sheltered me, keeping mostly to the “safe”things in my life. I liked routine, predictability, the safety of living the same reality day in and day out, and I most certainly did not like being judged.
This out of character post has changed my life in the most profound way. From what most people consider such a small action, I have built a meaningful business. It’s much more than a way to make money, it has allowed me to build bridges and make connections with so many people. I get so much fulfillment from creating something for others to enjoy and be a part of one of the most important days in peoples’ lives. I have gained the confidence to choose clients and work that is right for me and the things that I want to achieve in the wedding industry. I don’t care what people have to say about me anymore, especially doubters. I value my worth and time so much higher than ever before, because I’m worth more than an unlivable wage, and so is everyone else. Instead of questioning myself constantly, it’s only most of the time now. I get to grow and learn in my craft, continuing in my certifications and having hands-on experiences that are invaluable.
I don’t exactly know what is going to happen in the future, but I plan accordingly and keep putting my faith in God. I believe strongly in prayer and manifestation, which has gotten me to this place in my life. There are so many things this year that I will continue to accomplish; like an online shop, leveling up on certifications, financial goals, and I have some amazing weddings this year that I am so excited for everyone to see. I can’t thank everyone enough for the support, and I know I say it all the time, but only because I am truly amazed and so humbled by it. I couldn’t have anything I do today with my family's support, my peers, and especially my Dad for all the wisdom and constant reassurance within the business aspect. I'm honing in on becoming the best wedding florist possible, to better serve NEPA and the rest of the country. I’m going to kill it this year (I don’t care if that sounds cocky, it’s the truth) and I’m so happy to be here to do it.
Photo by: Cassandra Weber Photos